Compromise isn’t bad, but it must be in small doses. As sometimes, we need it to smooth over rough edges on a harmonious relationship.
For example, turning down the volume of a speaker is no big deal when the other person is talking over the phone. Or, it can be turning the TV off so that you can help your partner finish the house chores.
Neither of these compromises threatens our main desires, wants and needs. But sometimes, do we need to compromise a few essential elements in our lives?
What’s a healthy compromise in a relationship anyway?
Before discussing if compromising is good in a relationship, let’s touch on what a healthy relationship is.
The experts revealed that a healthy one is affirming who each person is and lets each one meet his needs together with the other person like meeting in the middle that the both of you adjust.
Oppositely, a lesser type of relationship is demanding that either or both the persons involved in the relationship to change in a meaningful and deep way to meet the other person’s needs, compromising one or both individuals in the relationship.
What makes healthy compromises?
Both persons are giving up something, not only one person. You and your partner should also engage in positive compromise.
For example, reach an agreement that you will go out with him and his friends – and he will do the same. But then, don’t talk about making a compromise when you’re mad; instead, take a break and don’t let your emotions shut down your positive thoughts.
So, is compromise good in a relationship?
You should know and learn when to compromise in a relationship because you cannot be in your strict terms.
After all, love is a two-way street. Both partners must figure out on how to adjust and adapt things that will work for the both of them.
However, you cannot and should not compromise everything about yourself just to keep the relationship by always trying to level and smoothen rough edges – or meeting your partner’s wants, needs and desires.
Know when to compromise and when to stick to your person
In a relationship, you must know when to bend or give in and when to stand your ground.
As regardless how deeply you’re in love with each other, you cannot help but have different beliefs and takes on certain things. That is why you have the choice to agree or not or sometimes meet in the middle.
It also means treading carefully on those grey areas to ensure you’re not losing yourself because of compromises.
For example, you should not let go of all things you hold on to just to please the other person, regardless how much he tries to want you to change that for him.
Know that someone who truly loves you knows how to compromise, too – valuing what makes you happy and never asking you to give up those things that make you smile and contented.
What Not to Compromise in a Relationship
You might be with the wrong person if your partner is making you feel less confident about yourself. If he truly loves you, he will make you feel more like the person you are, too, not LESS.
You should not ever compromise your feelings about yourself.
You have your dreams maybe just even before meeting your boyfriend. And each person is entitled to his future dreams – even if won’t achieve all of them. You should chase and follow your dreams. Never let your partner prevent you from chasing them. If he keeps on doing it, you’re probably with the wrong person. After all, he should be your #1 cheerleader to go ahead and reach for life goals – UNCONDITIONALLY.
You should not give up your relationship with your family at all cost. If your boyfriend does not treat your loved ones well, but he is still adverse to them, regardless how amazing they have been with him, you are probably with the wrong person.
Do not yield if your boyfriend or girlfriend asks you to cut ties – and let go of your friends. Even if your partner has personal issues with one of them, but you enjoy his or her company, you should not give up on friendship just to make your partner happy. After all, it is his problem, not yours. In short, don’t give up one for the other.
Career (and Goals)
Do you have something you want for your career? Every person involved in the relationship should support each other in their goals for their careers.
In some cases, you might have to change some aspects in your life to work with your lover’s career, or vice versa. But neither persons involved should give up their career goals to adjust and make their relationship flow smoothly.
Values and Core Beliefs
As much as possible, not any of us wants to be with someone that has opposing values and beliefs to us.
However, it does not mean that you have to change yours in order to adjust and meet his needs. Never be with that person.
You don’t have to agree about everything with your boyfriend/husband. After all, it is not bad to be in an informed and healthy debate from time to time, as it’s enriching.
You do not have to lean towards his/her beliefs; keep your core values and life principles.
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What’s The Kind of Treatment You Can Tolerate?
You shouldn’t compromise on how you want your partner to treat you because respect should always be present in the relationship.
If you’re being treated less, you should not tolerate it and compromise.
Just because you’re in love should not mean to compromise your self-esteem.
Love and respect are both important. Love shouldn’t make you sacrifice to be treated with respect.
At the end of the day, compromise is good in a relationship. You just have to draw the boundaries on things to bend or give up and what not to.
When you get the hang of making compromise in the relationship, you’re going to feel appreciated. The both of you will also feel valued for your individual priorities and pursuits and shared interests. And when worked out positively, compromise isn’t scary. In fact, it is an essential aspect of a happy and harmonious relationship.