Funny Quotes

77 Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

77 Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh. If you are looking for short funny quotes then you are in the right place, here are the best funny quotes and sayings to read that will make you smile, laugh, feel happy, and will inspire you at the same time. Below you will find the famous funny quotes from the great authors that will make you forget your problems for a while and will learn something meaningful while reading along the way. Share these funny quotes with your friends, family, and loved ones to make them smile as well.

1. He who laughs last… just didn’t get the joke. – Carroll Bryant

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

2. I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. – Tom Lehrer

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

3. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

 

4. What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

5. You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. – Franklin P. Jones

6. The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill. – W. Clement Stone

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

7. I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. – Denis Waitley

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

8. Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone. – Gladys Berthe Stern

 

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

9. A smile confuses an approaching frown. – Anonymous

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

10. A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs — jolted by every pebble in the road. – Henry Ward Beecher

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

11. There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened. – Mark Twain

12. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions. – Woody Allen

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

13. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. – Woody Allen

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

14. I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen

15. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. – Albert Einstein

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

16. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

17. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. – Groucho Marx

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

18. If at first you don’t succeed, think how many people you’ve made happy. – H. Duane Black

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

19. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. – Anonymous

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

20. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others. – Groucho Marx

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

21. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. – Bill McGlashen

22. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. – Ahmad

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

23. Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. – Anonymous

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

24. I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it. – George Bernard Shaw

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

25. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

26. A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on. – Samuel Goldwyn

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

27. She who laughs, lasts. – Mary Pettibone Poole

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

28. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

29. You can’t always control who walks into your life, but you can control which window you throw them out. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

30. If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

31. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. – Ann Bradford

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

32. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

33. We made mistakes because life doesn’t come with instructions. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

34. You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it. – Robin Williams

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

35. Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night. – Jason Love

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

36. Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

37. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

38. Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat. – Harry Emerson Fosdick

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

39. Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. – Will Rogers

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

40. Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way. – Charles Bukowski

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

41. A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction. – Justin Sewell

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

42. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

43. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. – Sam Levenson

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

44. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

45. When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say ‘Why me?’, say ‘Try me’. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

46. Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

47. Aspire to inspire before we expire. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

48. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

49. Kill them with success and bury them with a smile. – Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

50. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time. – Joe Girard

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

51. I like to think I’m helping them by hating them. I’m reminding them that they aren’t God’s gift to humankind. – Veronica Roth

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

52. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. – E. V. Lucas

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

53. I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one. – John Kennedy Toole

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

54. I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world. – Oscar Wilde

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

55. In small towns, news travels at the speed of boredom. – Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

56. Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman. – Kresley Cole

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

57. I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. – Gilda Radner

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

58. People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people. – Terry Pratchett

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

59. I was cold, hungry, and in a hole in the ground. But at least I had my elven porn, damnit! – Kim Harrison

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

60. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt. – Mark Twain

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

61. Didn’t know you could measure distance so well with nothing but your bloody eyeballs. – James Dashner

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

62. Why does everything so bad for you always taste so dreamy? – Colleen Houck

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

63. Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. – Vladimir Nabokov

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

64. She’s realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death. – Neil Gaiman

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

65. I can be a regular bitch. Just try me. – Stieg Larsson

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

66. There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one’s hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs. – Lemony Snicket

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

67. I decided right then and there to make a snic­ker­do­od­le perfume to wear, so that one day he would sniff me like that. – Jessica Verday

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

68. Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton. – Dean Koontz

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

69. Plans are invitation to disappointment. – Derek Landy

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

70. You’re under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense? – Derek Landy

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

71. Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts. – Will Cuppy

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

72. I just can’t fathom why anyone would stand on a ledge when there’s a respectable amount of walking space right next to it. – Stephanie Perkins

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

73. I might be in love with you. ‘He smiles a little. ‘I’m waiting until I’m sure to tell you, though. – Veronica Roth

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

74. He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face. – Shannon Hale

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

75. Never do anything that you don’t want to have to explain to 9-1-1 personnel. – Jill Shalvis

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

76. There’s a name for people with an interest in the moon, They’re called lunatics. – Anthony Horowitz

Short funny quotes about life that will make you laugh

77. He’s given me enough homework to last ten years. I’m gonna die of nerdism. – Mark A. Cooper

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *