Father's Day

12 Funny Dad Quotes to Use This Father’s Day

These funny Father’s Day quotes are sure to bring joy to you and your dad.

Funny Father's Day Quotes

Can’t find the right words for dad this Father’s Day? Take inspiration from these funny quotes by the likes of Jon Stewart, Bob Odenkirk, Mark Twain, and more. For additional inspiration.

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —JERRY SEINFELD

Jerry Seinfeld

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” —Jerry Seinfeld

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” —DAVE ATTELL

Dave Attell

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” —Dave Attell

"I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother." ——RITA RUDNER

Rita Rudner

“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” —Rita Rudner

"My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic." —BOB ODENKIRK

Bob Odenkirk

“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” —Bob Odenkirk

"Even though I'm proud my dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear." —STEWART FRANCIS

Stewart Francis

“Even though I’m proud my dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.” —Stewart Francis

"Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business." —JIMMY FALLON

Jimmy Fallon

“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” —Jimmy Fallon

"Me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive." —Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.” —Rodney Dangerfield

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children." —CLARENCE DARROW

Clarence Darrow

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.” —Clarence Darrow

Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why? —JAMES BREAKWELL

James Breakwell

“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story! Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions. Four-year-old: Why?” —James Breakwell

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." —MARK TWAIN

Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” —Mark Twain

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